The Smith Family

All is well.....

2009-02-16T17:36:00.000-08:00

Hello all! I'm sorry for the lack of pics, but something is not hooked up right with my camera's cradle and our computer, so it is not letting me load pics right now. This really sucks 'cause I have some CUTE pictures of my angel on there! Luke is so so so so cute right now! He is really starting to smile and laugh and it just melts my heart! We have to go to the doctor tomorrow because he has a nasty cough again and lots of yucky stuff coming up. Hopefully it is just the last of the crud from his bronchialitis, but I want to make sure. He also needs to get his 4 month vaccines since he didn't get to last time because he was sick. But other than that, he is doing really well. I'm going to BEG the doctor to let me try him on a different formula. His tootin' gas is out of control and he was up screaming in pain last night. I don't know what else to do!! He is even on prescription drops and mylicon does NOTHING for him. So, the only thing I know to do is change formulas. Valentine's Day came and went here. Tom and I are not too keen on commercial holidays, plus we are so broke right now that if he had spent $$ on flowers that would have just died anyway, I would have been soooooo mad! I know lots of women get off on getting a big ol' bouquet, but I really would prefer something on one of the other 364 days of the year. V-Day is just so "you have to do it because 'they' say to". Nah, you can have it! Get me a 94 cent card on April 5th, or August 20th, or any other day....Lord knows I don't need the chocolate!! Tom took off work today and we had a nice day home from school. Plus he let me sleep till noon!! How nice!! I really do love my husband. I couldn't do it without him! He has his faults (and I definitely have mine -- envision me without my Lexapro for 4 days and you can only imagine what he has been through...) but he is my friend, my partner, and the only guy I have ever really been super goofy around!! He also helped give me the world's cutest bambino!! Who really needs a bath right now so I gotta go...

Caleb is home with Jesus

2009-02-05T10:09:00.000-08:00

Caleb went to meet his Heavenly Father this morning. Tyesha texted around 7AM and the NICU wanted her to come down immediately. When she arrived they were doing chest compressions on him in hopes that he could make it till mommy came. He just couldn't. She called later and told me that she got to hold him and he was still warm and snuggly. She is doing OK. She is way stronger than I could ever be. I have shed lots of tears this morning for her loss, but I do know that he is totally healed now and waiting on mommy to join him one day. I know he is taken care of and in no pain. We are the ones left with the pain. Please pray for Tyesha as she is making arrangements today to bury her little one.

Caleb

2009-02-04T18:48:00.000-08:00

The time for Caleb to meet Jesus is fast approaching. I talked to Tyesha today and she told me about arrangements, the cemetery, the cost, etc. I don't know if it is denial, shock or if she is truly the strongest woman I have ever met, but she just told me every thing matter-of-factly. I just listened, said that she sounds like she is ready for this, and asked what I could do to help her. I have never been in this situation before, and I hope to never, ever, ever be again. When we hung up, I burst into tears. I cried out to God to please cover Tyesha in his comfort and let her know that Caleb will be taken care of. No more pain, swelling, tubes, medicine, sedation. Just health and happiness and comfort. I told her that when Tyesha goes to meet Jesus that the person behind him will be Caleb and he will be so glad to see her!! I cried out to God to protect Luke and to keep him healthy. Please, God, I am not that strong...I would never recover if something were ever happen to him. Please don't test me in that way! I cried for the two babies of ladies I know who went to Jesus in the past year. Audrey and Aryn. I cried for their mommies. I cried for the little baby that my boss knew who went to Jesus this weekend after three months. A perfectly healthy baby. Why? Why? My heart is so heavy tonight. I miss my little monkey so bad. I am sick with a nasty infection in my lungs and am taking LOADS of meds to clear it up. But I can't hold him. I can't sleep with him in my arms. It is so very hard to do this right now because of all the sadness I am surrounded with. I just want to hold him and tell him I love him more than life itself. I am so saddened right now that Tyesha knows Caleb is dying. What do I say? That he will be in a better place and not suffering? This is true, but how is this comforting to a mommy who will not see her child everyday? What do I do? What do I say?

Praying for Caleb

2009-02-02T18:50:00.001-08:00

What a tough day yesterday. Luke's podmate, Caleb, at St. Vincent's NICU is not doing well at all and the doctor's don't feel as though he will make it through the week. I visited Caleb and his mommy Tyesha yesterday at UAB. He was transferred there about a month ago in hopes that he could get a treatment for his chronic lung condition. None of that happened because an infection set up in his blood. This little guy has been through so much and he is such a fighter! He weighed under 2 pounds at birth and has been fighting since. He is so precious and my heart just aches for him and his mom. She is praying for a miracle right now so I ask that you keep both of them in your prayers.

Luke's first sickness!!

2009-01-27T20:15:00.000-08:00

Well, it finally happened. Luke is sick. Actually, it's pretty good that he waited this long to get the crud. Four months old with no sickness in a preemie is really good. Anyhoo, he had a well baby visit today that turned into a sick baby visit. He got a breathing treatment to see if it would clear up this yucky congestion he has going on, but it didn't help. The doc said it was bronchialitis (yeah, I never heard of that either...supposedly it is a little different from actual bronchitis). Basically, he has infection in his bronchial lining. In an adult or older child this would just be a plain ol' cold, and he probably got it from someone who had a cold or was exposed to it, but in a baby it is different. We are just hoping that there will be NO signs of RSV!! He is getting a Synagis shot every month to ward it off so hopefully this infection will just remain "as is". He put Luke on a liquid steroid for three days but said his cough could last for up to 4 to 5 weeks!!! Yuck!! Also, he couldn't get his vaccines today so we will have to go back and get them in a couple of weeks. But, it wasn't all bad today! Luke now weighs....drum roll, please....
16 pounds 8 ounces!!!!! Holy Cow!! Also, he is 24 inches long!! YAY!! Dr. Gleason told us that he is NO LONGER be measured on the "preemie growth chart"! AND that on the term baby growth chart is is measuring in the 75th percentile in weight! OH MY GOODNESS, I HAVE A BABY LINEBACKER!! Dr. Gleason is SO impressed with our little man! Also, he is measuring in the 25th percentile in length! The doc said he would be off the charts on the preemie chart!! WOW! When he was first born they thought he would have to be on the preemie chart for up to a year, but he is growing so fast. He is doing great! He also is meeting all the benchmarks for a full term 4 month old except for reaching out and grabbing objects. And he said this will be coming soon! He should technically only be doing things that a 2 month old does, but he is right on track with other 4 month olds! AND the doc said that he should be completely caught up by the time he turns 6 months old, NOT one year old! We can start him on foods in the next month and a half, plus he said that he will probably go ahead and take him off the NeoSure preemie formula at around 6 months old. They usually want them to stay on till they are 9 months, so this is awesome! God has blessed us with such a healthy baby and I am SOOOOO thankful! We also got some prescription gas drops, so pray that they will help! So, even in spite of his yucky sickness, you will hear no griping or moaning from me today!! My baby is healthy, wonderful, beautiful, fantastic, incredible, and amazing so I am just sending out happy vibes today! I hope everyone enjoyed the nice Alabama weather God gave us today and I will post again soon!

Frazzled

2009-01-26T20:46:00.001-08:00

Tonight I am frazzled. I feel as though I have not stopped today, or yesterday, or the day before! Do you ever feel as though you are running a race daily and the finish line is nowhere in sight? That is me tonight. I have a baby that is congested and wheezing and gassy. Not a good combination. I have a husband that comes home and plays video games and asks what we are doing for dinner. I have children in my class that know no boundaries at home and I get to try to teach them right from wrong. I have a weigh in at Weight Watchers on Wednesday and I have eaten Mexican three times, yes three times, this week. I finally had time to actually shave my legs tonight in the shower. That was scary. In the middle of cooking some dinner I realized we were out of baby cereal and Luke was screaming because he was starving so I had to leave it to go buy some because the Pig closes at nine and it was 8:30. Then I realized I was out of gas. Another stop. It's just been one of those days. One of those weeks. One of those months. It's like it never ends and all I do is gripe and moan about how hard it is. I swear the Lexapro ain't working lately! I feel like a hamster on its wheel going round and round. I also think I had a slight panic attack on Sunday. It was over something soooo stupid and I felt like it was the most important all-consuming thing. I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest and I got tight all over! I've never had a panic attack but it sure felt like it could have been one. Do you ever feel like you are being pulled in 100 different directions and that 100 different people want 100 different things from you? That's me lately. I just feel so uptight and my poor husband is catching the brunt of it. I can be so mean to him. Why do I do that? I love him and he is a good daddy, but I feel like sometimes he has it so easy. That I have to do everything. But I also realized tonight that even when he offers to help, I have trouble giving up control. He offered to feed Luke and to sleep with him in the living room so I can have a real night's sleep. I worried that he wouldn't do our nighttime routine the right way. I told him how he should hold him to get him to sleep. I made him promise that he would not sleep with him on his chest because he was congested and I didn't want him becoming face down because I feared that he would suffocate. I told him he did not need to put him in the swing because then he (Tom) would be in such a deep sleep b/c Luke wasn't laying on him that he would not be able to hear him when he cried. See, I have to control it. I want to gripe about not getting help, but when it's offered I want to control it and have Tom do it MY way. The right way. At least I think it's the right way. I know I fret a lot over Luke but he is my first baby and he had a rough go his first few months and to be honest, I feel like I can take care of him better than Tom. Isn't that awful to say?? And I don't mind letting Tom know that. I'm mean to him and I need to stop. I have to get off this craziness and start learning how to say no to people and start focusing on what is important - my family. I couldn't make it without my husband. I really, really couldn't. I need to let go of my need for control. And I really, really need to go to bed now. Sleep is sounding so good right now.....

2009-01-15T16:19:00.000-08:00

Here is Luke next to a picture of his daddy when he was six or seven months old! Cute! Also, here is Luke with his Nonna and a picture of Monkey in his favorite spot...daddy's lap (well, at least it is his favorite when mommy's isn't available!!).

2009-01-15T16:17:00.000-08:00

Tom's Bumbo helmet...Yes, this is who I chose to marry....he's having wayyyy too much fun with the baby toys!!

2009-01-15T16:16:00.000-08:00

My baby is getting so big!!!! Dang, he's cute!!

2009-01-15T16:15:00.000-08:00

Our friend let us have her Bumbo and we have had so much fun with it!!

2009-01-15T16:13:00.000-08:00

Fun with Sock Monkey!!

2009-01-15T16:12:00.000-08:00

Hey bebba....your crib or mine?? Luke totally looks like a lounge lizard here! Tom refuses to button up his onesies all the way because he thinks he will choke cause his neck is so tubby!!

Back to work already??

2009-01-05T20:48:00.000-08:00

So I went back to work today. I also dropped Luke off at his babysitter's for the first time today and yes, I cried! Even though Kathryn (his sitter) is a total God-send to me and Tom, I was so sad leaving him today! Monkey and I have spent the last two months getting to know each other and now I don't get to see him for 8 hours day!! It's hard and I know I am gonna miss so much. Kathryn said he did so well today! She said she barely heard him cry, but I know she probably did not even put him down! He is soooo rotten! She really is gonna hurt herself carrying that big boy around!! He waited till he got home to be moody...I think he does well during the day, but at night he has pretty much had enough and he gets fussy! My students don't come back until tomorrow so today was all about getting my room back in order after Christmas and attending a few staff meetings. My sub really did a great job and even had stuff laid out for us to do this week!! :) WOW!! Kristy...if you are reading this THANK YOU!!
Oh it was a struggle getting up this morning and getting ready!! But, thankfully, I have the coolest husband in the world, and he gets up at 6 to get the baby changed, fed, and ready so I only have to focus on getting myself ready! I am a lucky woman!!! I really hope my kids are able to quickly adjust back to me...I'm hoping for NO discipline problems this week and I am ready to get them going on their reading!! I can't believe it is already January! I feel like I have not been able to be there for my students much the first half of the year, so I have a lot of catching up to do with them. I am going to focus on structure, structure, structure! Because of the circumstances surrounding Luke, they have not had much structure so far. So I HAVE to get it together for them and GET BUSY getting them ready for first grade!! Well, gotta go get monkey to sleep.....morning will be here soon!!

Um....where did 2008 go?

2008-12-30T21:57:00.000-08:00

Man, time has flown this year. I've heard that time really starts to fly when you get older and I am definitely believing it. It seems like just yesterday that Jennifer and I were at the "after Christmas sale" at Peacocks in the Parlor and I picked up a sweet pair of baby reindeer booties and exclaimed "I have to get these!! Someone is BOUND to get pregnant this year.....". Little did I know that one month later that someone would be ME!! And that on April 2nd, that little pink line on the pregnancy test changed our lives forever!! It also seems like just yesterday that we were finding out that my dad's cancer had spread to his liver. A couple of weeks after I found out that I was pregnant, the doctor told us news that would also change our lives forever. It was terminal and he did not want to put my daddy through the chemo that would make him sick and still not get him better. Today is my dad's birthday, by the way. He would have been 72 and he would have loved this little boy who is a gift from God. This year has been hard. Really hard. I've lost someone I love so much and have been given someone I love so much. The highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Funny how that happens...So many people that I know seem to be going through a roller coaster year. This year has been filled with joyous new babies, deaths of parents, loss of babies, divorce, marriage, healing of sick babies, re commitments to loved ones....the list goes on and on. 2008 will definitely be the year that I feel I "grew up". So much has happened when I reflect on this year. I have made great new friends and become distant to some that I used to share so much with. I am so blessed beyond what I deserve....

2008-12-28T19:37:00.000-08:00

After a long day gone from my boys, I arrived home to find the house unusually quiet....this is what I found in our bedroom. This is my favorite picture of all time!! Doesn't it just melt your heart?? Tom really is a wonderful daddy to Luke!

2008-12-28T19:35:00.000-08:00

I LOVED the Santa Monkey outfit that my friend Alea got for Luke! It was too cute and I thought he looked adorable! Also, here is a pic of monk-monk (a new nickname...)asleep in his bouncy!

2008-12-28T19:32:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from our family Christmas Eve dinner at my sister's house! Awwww....

Where oh where have I been???

2008-12-26T21:47:00.000-08:00

Hey all! So, it's been about 16 days since I last blogged (not that I'm counting!) and I figured I'd better get something on here! I know I get frustrated when people don't update ('cause, like I said before, I'm nosy) so I'd better get back to it! Here is a reader's digest version of life since we last talked:
~got my car fixed ($2200.00!!). We had to beg, steal, and borrow for that one! At least it's running now, but unfortunately something happened to my air when he replaced the transmission!! figures.....
~Luke's first Christmas was really good! He was so worn out by the end of the day's travels to various family that he rewarded mommy and daddy by puking on us...lots...like, the whole bottle! Think Linda Blair in the Exorcist!
~Speaking of monkey, he is now 12lbs. 10ozs!! Chunky, chunky, monkey!! His 3 month doctor visit went well and he is doing GREAT according to Dr. Gleason!
~My sweet husband surprised me this Christmas with a pair of diamond earrings! I was shocked!! He apparently had been putting a little back from his paycheck each week and even sold some of his computer parts to get them for me!! I totally do not deserve them because I have been a bit of a witch lately to him! In fact, right before he gave them to me, I was just railing on him and saying the most awful things because I was stressed out and ill. And of course, I take it out on him and I shouldn't! Now, though, he totally has something to hold over me, and he just LOVES that! The earrings are gorgeous, and I have been wanting some for a few years! Never shall they leave my ears.....
~I did some after Christmas shopping and got TONS of ornaments for next year's tree! It will be a white/silver/cream/clear tree next year. Tom said he wanted a "classy" tree! So, I also got a smaller tree ($10 at Wal-Mart for a six footer!!) to put in our kitchen that I will decorate "hodge podge"...you know, special and different ornaments and such...
~I have to go back to work the week after next, and I have to admit that I am very sad! I have been with monkey 24/7 and leaving him will be so hard! I might have to get his daddy to drop him off with his sitter because I just don't think I will be able to do it!!
~I am getting sick and it sucks.
~Courtney had her baby!! YAY!! Little Shelby is a beauty and I went to see her with Meg and Doreen. Shelby looks just like her mommy!! Click on "The Snuggs' family" to see pictures!
~I just found out some really sad news...My friend's(Meg) sister-in-law lost her baby today. I think she was around 25 weeks, so it is pretty devastating news. Please be in prayer for the Simmons' family (Emily, Casey, and Addy). This time of year will forever be hard for this family from now on and I can only hope that God gives them comfort. Little Audrey Snuggs now has baby Simmons for a playmate up in heaven...

Well, I have to go check on Monkey...He is squawking because he does not feel well! Six teaspoons of cereal in every bottle makes a very constipated little boy!! I've missed blogging and will post some pics soon!

Christmas Memories

2008-12-10T20:48:00.001-08:00

Ok, so my friend Meg tagged everyone to share their Christmas memories/traditions. What a great idea...or so I thought! I realized quickly that I need to start up some traditions now that I am a mom. After reading Meg's I have decided that I have had pretty uneventful holidays while growing up! But, here's what I came up with...

1. I remember getting a baby stroller one year and I was so excited about it! However, after breakfast we all smelled plastic burning. The source of the smell was, you guessed it...my brand new stroller! We had one of those floor furnaces growing up and I had left it on there and the wheel melted to the heater grate! So sad...

2. Now a good one! I remember my sister and I getting adoption dolls! Mine was named Amanda Renee and she was a pre-cursor to the Cabbage Patch doll I got a few years later. (I was never into Barbie dolls - only baby dolls!)

3. My sister and I would get up sooooooo early on Christmas morning and BEG my momma and daddy to let us go ahead and open presents but every year they would say, "Wait until we have breakfast!". We would beg and plead and they always let us go ahead and tear into them!

4. In the past, our whole family would come over Christmas afternoon and eat lunch together. More recently, we have been doing a "family get together" a few days before and exchange presents. There are so many people in my family that we have to draw names (I am one of 8 kids and there are LOTS of grandkids!). We usually draw names at Thanksgiving.

5. My mother is the most difficult person on earth to buy a present for and she has always said she hated Christmas. Kinda a scrooge, but we all know and accept that about her! My daddy was the easiest person to buy for and he always LOVED Christmas!! This will be my first Christmas without him and it just won't be the same. He was like a kid opening presents and I will miss seeing his happy face on Christmas morning.

6. Tom and I do not buy presents for each other. We have always taken the money we would have spent and given to a needy family. This year, funds are very low thanks to a $2000 transmission, so we won't get to do it :(

7. Tom proposed to me during our family Christmas in 2005...so sweet!

8. I love scrawny, Charlie-Brown type Christmas trees with cheap tinsel and home-made ornaments. They are the best!

Now....everyone else post their Christmas memories because I am nosy and like to know these things!!

2008-12-07T19:18:00.000-08:00

Introducing Chubby Cheeks!! Um, do they make slim-fast for babies?? He is PACKING on the pounds!!

2008-12-07T19:17:00.000-08:00

Ok, I know he is mine, but is he not just stinkin' cute??

2008-12-07T19:16:00.000-08:00

"WHASSUP UP????"

2008-12-07T19:15:00.000-08:00

"I...can't...believe...I...ate...the...WHOLE...thing...!!!"

2008-12-07T19:11:00.000-08:00

"Ummm, define naughty Santa...."

2008-12-07T19:10:00.000-08:00

"Put the camera away, Mommy!! I'm OVER it!!"

2008-12-07T19:09:00.000-08:00

"Why are you forcing me to look like an elf?" (more pics on next page)

2008-12-07T19:06:00.000-08:00

World's cutest Christmas baby!! He's so stinkin' cute! I'm starting to dress him in his super cute Christmas outfits!

2008-12-03T18:51:00.000-08:00

Here is Monkey with his Daddy on the recliner! And here is sweet Sojo looking oh so cute and hoping her daddy will give her a bite of the chocolate cake he was eating!

Zantac bound

2008-12-03T18:21:00.000-08:00

Well, the doc decided to put lil' Lukester on medicine yesterday. I guess I'm ok with it...I mean, the past couple of weeks have been super hard on him and me! His tummyaches, gas, constipation, diarrhea, spitting up, etc. finally got the best of me and I called and said "Ok, we have tried cereal and no cereal...He is miserable and I really need something to give!" So, they called in a prescription of Zantac and told me to continue with his cereal and add some dark Karo syrup in his bottle a couple of times a day (so he can poop. So, currently, this is how we do his bottles: 1 teaspoon of cereal per oz. of formula for every bottle, .7ml of Zantac 2 times a day 20 min. before he eats, 1 teaspoon of Karo in a bottle 2 times a day, .5ml of poly-vitamins in bottle once a day, and mylicon gas drops in his bottle as needed! Whew! It's crazy! But if this will make him feel better, I'll do it! Also, I'm struggling with him getting his days and nights mixed up. He is WIDE awake between 3 and 6 in the morning and he crashes all day! This makes for a very tired mommy! I am also gonna TRY to get him to sleep in his pack-n-play bassinet and not with me on our big chair! I tried last night, but it only lasted about an hour and a half before I had him back in the living room and asleep with me on the chair. It's so strange...it's like he wouldn't get into a deep sleep in his bassinet. He was kinda asleep but then would cry for a few seconds without opening his eyes. Then back to sleep. Then he would repeat it....Could this be his belly hurting? He never does this when he sleeps with me. Is is too early to just let him cry a little? I have a feeling that we will have some sleepless nights ahead of us! Any suggestions....send them my way! I really want him to sleep by himself!! I am missing my new comfy bed but I also love the security of him right next to me. Well, we finally got a rental car! Yay! I am free to leave the house again! The transmission in my car is shot and we have to get another put in. Who would have thought that one hole in the road could cause sooooo much damage? Supposedly, it was a freak thing that happened to my wheel where is was air-born for a split second, caused it to keep spinning and threw a gear in my transmission! Ick. On a happy note, some friends of ours got to take their little one home from the NICU yesterday after 10 long weeks! YAY! Morgan and Matt finally got to take Paisley, Luke's future wife, home and I know they are so happy! I'm happy for them! It has been a long road for them but Miss P. is gonna do great! Morgan has a blog you can link to from mine - it is named The Eddy's. I don't think she has had a chance to update yet, but you can see pics of her beautiful little one on there! Hope everyone has a good night! Say a prayer that I can get Luke into that bassinet tonight!

It's good to be back!

2008-11-30T21:01:00.000-08:00

Hey guys! I'm back from my "blogging sabbatical" and lots has happened since I left! Luke is growing like a weed! He is probably pushing 9lbs. by now! Can you believe it?? He has come a long way since his lowest weight of 3lbs. 7ozs.! I have stopped putting cereal in his formula...it was giving him too much of a bellyache and he was NOT happy about it. He went from a relatively good baby to one that I could hardly console. The cereal made him really constipated and he was just miserable - and so was I! We were having to give him diluted apple juice and it wreaked havoc on his little tummy - all kinds of noises and it just sounded really bad. We also had to give him glycerin suppositories :(. Not fun! So, after a week, I made the executive decision to take him off of it. And he seems to be doing OK. I do think he has reflux because he cries when he burps and he is still spitting up quite a bit, but it's not projectile so hopefully he will just grow out of it! He seems to be more like himself & he is not nearly as fussy!! He has been off the cereal for 3 days and until this morning had still not pooped. Pardon me while I discuss poo...it's just something mommy's have to be deal with! Anyway, we had Poopfest 2008 at around 7:30 this morning. It was bad ~ really bad! Bless his little heart! He acts like he feels MUCH better now, though! On a sad note, I currently have no car. That's right..my car is screwed up! I was leaving the Shell station on Friday night and did not see this HUGE hole on the side of the road and apparently I cut my wheel a little sharp and BAM - ran right into it! It has done something really bad to it...I could not get it to drive or go forward or anything! I put it in drive and it just revved like it was in neutral. Nice. We had to have it towed and will assess the damage tomorrow. Needless to say, I had a major hissy fit/breakdown/cuss fit/panic. If I am being tested, believe me, I failed miserably that night! I mean, I seriously had to ask God to forgive me for all the UGLY things I said! What else....Oh, I went to see "Four Christmases" tonight with Jen. It was great! Very funny! I love movies!! I want to go more often but never find the time. I had my shower last Sunday and it was wonderful! I got so many cute things for Luke and LOTS of clothes! My faves included three Feltman Brothers outfits and a Feltman Bros. bib! They are sooo nice and I can't wait until Luke is big enough to wear them! He also got lots of books and this cool rainforest thingy you hang on his crib. I also loved his monogrammed burp clothes and a homemade frame my friend Christy made. It was all so sweet and special! Speaking of my friend Christy, she had her sweet baby girl last Monday! Lanie weighed in at 7lbs. 7ozs. and looks JUST like her mommy (beautiful of course!). She already has Angelina Jolie lips and a head full of dark hair! Also, my mom is STILL in North Carolina! She has been gone over a month and it makes me sad that she has not seen Luke. She says she is coming home this weekend, but we'll see. Needless to say, she missed my shower. I'm not bitter...wait, yes I am! My MIL came over yesterday and let me sleep for a few needed hours while she watched Monkey. Then my sweet husband came home from the gun show, handed me a benedryl to knock me out (I'm a light sleeper), & told me I was going to sleep longer because he was going to watch the baby and I needed a break! OH I LOVE HIM!! I slept for, no lie, 9 hours!!! It was WONDERFUL!! And I have felt sooooooo much better since! Well, that has pretty much caught you up on what's been going on here in Smithville! Hope everyone is doing great!

2008-11-30T21:00:00.000-08:00

Then...

Late September/Early October

What a tiny little monkey!!!

2008-11-30T20:59:00.000-08:00

and now...

November 30

WHAT A DIFFERENCE!!

2008-11-30T20:55:00.000-08:00

Luke crashed after Thanksgiving festivities! It's so hard being the cutest baby alive and having everyone wanting to hold you! Also, here is his Nonna (Tom's mom) holding her already-spoiled grandson!

2008-11-30T20:52:00.000-08:00

Here are some recent pics of Monkey! His Daddy's hat is a little bit big, don't ya think? I love the one where he looks like a little drunk hobo! Fun with baby! Look how blue his eyes are! He is getting so big!

Feeling Convicted

2008-11-21T20:42:00.000-08:00

So tonight, I am doing a little "blog-stalking" (my favorite thing to do, hands down!) when I happened upon a blog from a lady that talked about a "media vacation". She discussed how she has been so surrounded by tv, internet, email, texting, etc. that she was losing sight of what was truly important. I am guilty of spending no less than 1 - 2 hours a day blogging and reading blogs and yet I have not opened my bible in DAYS!! I've read the paper, watched the news, read blogs, read magazines...but no bible. What's up with that? I guess I just expect that God is always gonna be there for me no matter how I treat him. I can ignore him and sometimes even curse him, but boy, when I need him, he BETTER be there for me. Well, this is twisted. I am consuming too much time in earthly things and not enough in eternal things. I want to be perceived as such a great Christian, but only I know that I am so lukewarm that it is pathetic. I tell people that I will pray for them, and guess what? I don't. I tell myself that I am definitely gonna pray before every meal, and guess what? I don't. I say that I will read my bible everyday, but guess what? I don't. I feel a little hollow right now and I know that it is because I am not being filled with the spirit because I am pushing it away. I am not being faithful to God who has continually poured out His blessings to me. I am a liar. I talk a good game and yet I am not doing what I KNOW is expected of me from God. Time and time again I promise Him and myself that I will "be better this time". Luke is here and perfect and what do I do to proclaim my gratefullness? Nothing. I feel like such a fake. A big ol' faker. In an effort to reclaim what I am losing, I am going to take a break from this computer for a couple of days and get back into my bible. It is my sincere hope that God hasn't given up on me and my lack of discipline. I'm not going to be gone forever - just a couple of days. I promise to return with updates on Monkey - he should be home tomorrow. However, for the next few days, I have to reconnect with a relationship that I have let go by the wayside. Everyone have a great weekend and I will be back on next week!! Love you@

A trip to the ER

2008-11-21T12:13:00.000-08:00

Hey guys. Please say a quick prayer today for Luke. He has had a pretty bad cough for the past few days and the docs did not seem too worried about it (they think it is just his lungs adjusting to normal air and not NICU air). Last night, I was feeding him and I think he tried to cough and drink at the same time and his lips turned blue! I sat him up immediately and patted him on his back and he let out 3 BIG coughs. Scary! The docs told me to go ahead and take him to Children's and apparently this is an automatic admission. They are observing him for 24-36 hours to make sure he does not have any O2 drops. I really think that he just did this b/c he choked, but they are taking NO chances since he is a preemie that has only been home a week. They say he should be home by Sat. afternoon. They are running ALL kinds of tests just to make sure we have NOTHING else going on (like an infection). I am pretty devastated that Monkey has to be back in the hospital but if everything works out and looks good he will be home tomorrow. I will keep everyone posted on what we find out.

Why does my son like to pee on me?

2008-11-18T21:53:00.000-08:00

Seriously y'all! I have been peed on everyday since Monkey came home! Granted, it's usually around 2:30 in the morning and I am so tired I forget to "cover" it...boy, it wakes me up pretty good! Just getting used to being a mommy! It's really starting to sink in that Luke really is home and that we are totally responsible for his care! I'm trying to figure out his cries and his sleep pattern (which is around 3-4 hours at a time). I'm also still obsessing about my fear of SIDS so he has been sleeping on my chest (I know, I know...) while I sleep on our big over sized chair in the living room. I have ordered these mattress covers for his pack and play and his crib because of some research I have been doing on SIDS. Wanna get scared and paranoid? Google "toxic gas and mattresses". Supposedly "they" have found a link between a fungus that emits toxic gas from mattresses when is is mixed with the stuff found in flame retardant (which all mattresses have). So, this doc in New Zealand has created a cover that supposedly helps. There is a lot more to it (the sites discuss the latest findings of having a fan in the room and the whole "back to sleep" campaign"). Anyway, it could be totally bogus, but I think it is 80 bucks well spent! I really need to stop obsessing...why do I have this fear that he is going to be taken away??? Maybe I need a boost in my meds....I just love him sooooo sooooo much and I pray that God never feels as though I could ever handle something like my child passing away. I have to stop before I get too morbid!! On a lighter note, my friend Nicole from the awesome Footprints Ministry (see their link on my page) and I will be meeting with Brenda Ladunn for a segment on her "Matters of Faith" broadcast. We will meet and talk with her tomorrow at St. Vincent's and there is a chance we might even be on TV!!! Cool!! I'm such a dork! Seriously, this ministry is awesome and I am so blessed to have benefited from it and I really want to get involved. On a sad note, my momma is still in North Carolina visiting her family (she's been there a month)and probably won't get to make it to my shower on Sunday. That sucks. I mean, it really hurts my feelings...what girl doesn't want her momma to ooohhh and aaaahhh with her over all the fun gifts? But, you just gotta know my mom. She is a "different" breed of sorts. Really different. She doesn't see how this could upset me. She has had several chances to make it home and she has known about this shower for a while. She even told me today, "Well, I already bought him a gift."! How cruddy is that?? I just need to let it go and know that she loves Luke in her own way. And that I will never ever change her. She is who she is. And even though she has not called me since he has been home, I can't let it bring me down. Lots of people love Monkey and I know lots of people will come on Sunday. I just really want my momma there. But, she won't be. I'll deal. Have a good night everyone!

2008-11-15T19:47:00.000-08:00

Tummy time on the monkey mat! Look at Super-Luke raise his head up!! Also, he LOVES his Baby Einstein mat! This is his favorite place to sleep! Not the fancy pack-n-play, not the fancy bouncy seat, not the fancy swing, no, none of those! His favorite place? On his Einstein mat. On the floor. Go figure! Oh, for those of you are wondering about the dogs...they don't bother him at all! They might go sniff at him but other than that, they leave him alone or just stare at him! They are such good dogs....

2008-11-15T19:43:00.000-08:00

Warm and snuggly after bath time! Also pictures from our first visit to see Dr. Gleason!

2008-11-15T19:41:00.000-08:00

Here is our first bath at home!! We can't submerge him yet in a tub because we have to wait until the circumcision heals. The docs didn't do that until the day before we went home. The t-shirt pic is where he peed on me!!

Welcome to my new life...

2008-11-15T19:05:00.000-08:00

Well, the past few days have definitely been a learning experience! Being a mommy in way harder than I had ever imagined! The lack of sleep, the worry, the getting peed on, the realization that my life has been forever changed...Luke is a 24 hour a day job and I tell ya, it's hard, but worth it when I look into that sweet face. We went to his Dr.'s office yesterday and Luke got an "A+" from his pediatrician. He is hitting all his benchmarks and gaining weight. He also had to get his first round of shots:( It totally broke my heart! The look on his face when the lady stuck that first needle in his leg, OH MY GOSH! He also peed on the nurse when she was weighing him! Did I mention he likes to pee on people? (especially mommy!) Last night I had my first mommy breakdown. I was sooo tired (they told me he was on a good schedule in the NICU, yeah right...). He eats every 3 - 4 hours which is great, but it takes him 30 minutes or so to eat, then another 45 or so to really get into a deep sleep and usually he wakes up in between feeds b/c he is wet or dirty and then I have to get him back to sleep. So that leaves me with around 45 minutes to an hour of sleep/wash clothes/cook/clean bottles/visit with people. I just started crying to Tom! There is a part of me that says "whoa, you mean I gotta do this, like, for the next few years?? um....uhh...." and then there is the part of me that says "you ungrateful, selfish person! Luke is healthy and perfect and all of this should just be a complete joy and I should never anything but happy about everything because he could have so many problems!" But guys, its HARD and I am very overwhelmed! Yesterday was really rough because he was very cranky from his shots and he cried every time I put him down. Today has been better b/c Tom has been home and has helped me tremendously!! He is really so great with Luke. He feeds him, changes him, plays online poker with him...wait, I really don't think that is something he needs to do so young! Seriously though, I could not ask for better! I also got a chance to get out of the house for a little bit. Anyone that knows me knows that I am not a "stay at home" kinda gal. I don't like sitting around the house watching tv for hours at a time. I like to get out and go!! So, today I ventured out to the Pig and to Tractor Supply Warehouse. (By the way, they have their Autumn stuff 70% off and I got some really cute stuff for cheap!) Tom's aunt and uncle stopped by for a visit and of course to see Monkey. My friend Meg also stopped by for a surprise visit and she had gotten us a pizza, tea, and a pie for dinner! How great is that?? She also let me use some of her little ones' receiving blankets so we can swaddle our little man. Can you believe that I only have 4 receiving blankets left after our stay at the NICU? A couple of his blankets accidentally got mixed in with the things they keep on hand, so we really didn't mind if we got them back. Tom also hooked up our cool video monitor. Meg was actually the one who recommended it. It was a gift to us from some ladies I work with and it is great! The picture is VERY clear and it makes me feel better to be able to see him when I am in the other room. I still want one of those monitors that keep track of babies' breathing. They are at Target and I have read really good reviews of them. It's like a mat that they lay on when they are sleeping and somehow it tracks whether or not there is that up and down motion of breathing. Anyone ever heard of it or had one? Let me know what you think! Gonna go for now and do a little "blog stalking" of my own! I'm addicted. I know.

2008-11-13T15:50:00.000-08:00

Here is Luke's snazzy new rainforest swing we got from Nonna! He loves it! He looks a little demonic in this pic...I promise he's not! He's really sweet! Also, here is Monkey's pack-n-play that he sleeps in. Well, "sleep" is relative! See, it's got monkies on it!! That's 'cause I'm clever like that!!It's not at the end of the bed...I moved it to my side of the bed last night before we headed to bed. I will get pics of the nursery posted when it gets complete. We still have to hang a border and pictures but it is really starting to look cute!

2008-11-13T15:47:00.000-08:00

Here is my nephew Ryan holding his cousin...gosh, I remember when Ryan was this small....Also, here is my brother-in-law Chris holding Monkey!

2008-11-13T15:45:00.000-08:00

Maddie again, and Jen holding Luke for the first time! Also, here is Aunt 'Shell holding him for the first time. She's gonna spoil him!

2008-11-13T15:42:00.000-08:00

Here is Samson and Sojo checking out their new brother! They still don't know what to think about him!! Sojo gets really nervous when Luke cries and runs into where he is and starts whimpering. And here is my sweet Maddie holding Luke! She FINALLY got to see him and hold him!! She's in love with him (she calls him her brother) and is a big helper!

2008-11-13T15:39:00.000-08:00

WE ARE SOOOOOO OUTA' HERE!!!!!! DO YOU LIKE THE CARSEAT?? IT IS THE CARSEAT FROM HELL!!!!! NOT VERY USER FRIENDLY....OR MAYBE IT'S TOO COMPLICATED FOR ME!!

2008-11-13T15:36:00.000-08:00

MORE PICTURES FROM YESTERDAY! LOOK AT HIS CUTE LIL' POLKA DOT OUTFIT!! TOM THOUGHT IT LOOKED GIRLY.....

2008-11-13T15:33:00.000-08:00

PICTURES FROM OUR LAST NIGHT AT THE NICU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH HAPPY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE ARE HOME!!!

2008-11-12T18:57:00.000-08:00

YAY! Luke made it through his countdown and his family room night and we have monkey HOME!! Am I scared?? YES! Am I nervous?? YES!! Am I paranoid?? YES! Am I exhausted?? YES!! Am I happy?? YESSSSSSSS! Thank you for everyone leaving sweet comments about our last night in the NICU. Everyone was so wonderful there, but I have to say...I never want to go back!! Only to visit Luke's NICU buddies - that's the only reason I will be back! Guys, I am so overwhelmed by everything! I don't really know if I'm coming or going ~ there is soooo much I am worried about! Because I am absolutely psychotic (just ask my husband, he'll tell you) I spent the night before last online at the SIDS research institute website reading memorials on sweet angel babies! Crazy, I know. Why oh why do I do it? Now, my mind is filled with the horrors of SIDS. I want a monitor. I want it to beep really really loud if he ever quits breathing, even for a second. I want a NICU nurse to live with me. I want to live in a bubble where nothing bad happens to my child or any other person's child. I want God to know that I would never be able to stand losing Luke. Ever. See what being up for almost 24 hours does to my feeble little mind?? Enough of the bad thoughts....Luke Rocks! He is the cutest thing ever created!! He makes the sweetest little grunts! He sounds like a baby goat!! I love it! Tom has to go back to work tomorrow, so it's me and monkey by ourselves. EEKKK! I probably won't even put him down. I don't have anything to do here because my bestest friend Jennifer came over yesterday and deep cleaned my house for me!! It's soooo clean and I love her for it! She is like a cleaning nazi!! She gets a natural high from cleaning and is manic about things being ubercleaned. With a preemie in the house, this is a very very good thing! I've got the best friends ever! I love you guys....I will post some pics tomorrow showing our last day at the NICU and our ride home! Wish me luck tonight and say a big ol' prayer for all of us!!

ONE MORE DAY....

2008-11-10T21:06:00.000-08:00

Ok ya'll...tomorrow will be day 7 of our countdown...If everything goes well and he does not misbehave, we will spend the night in the "family room" at the NICU and take our little monkey home on Wednesday!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!! It's finally here!! Six and a half LONG weeks and we are down to one day! I am scared to death!! I have sooooo much running through my mind and sooooo much I need to get done! It is a bit overwhelming! So what am I doing? BLOGGING!!! It's my stress release! Monkey was circumcised today :( so he is not feeling too good right now, but other than that he is doing great! Meg and Courtney visited today and held him and he just stared up at them! He loves being held by pretty girls...
He is weighing in at a whopping 6lbs. 14 ozs. and I am forcing newborn clothes on him!! Some of his preemie clothes still fit, but I am donating most of them to the NICU so his friends Gage and Caleb can wear them! I was pretty sad today because for the first time in 6 1/2 weeks, Luke was separated from his girlfriend Paisley. We have "pod jumped" with them and have never been apart from the sweet Eddy family till today. Luke got moved to the "window" seat in pod C and Paisley is still in pod A (where we were last night). We started out in C, then jumped to D (our favorite pod), then to A and today we were back at C. I hope I can see Paisley's mom Morgan tomorrow!! Maybe she will be back in C also!! Well, I hope everyone will say a quick prayer tonight for a great report tomorrow! I want Monkey HOME!!

Holding our breath...

2008-11-09T16:57:00.000-08:00

OK, we are on day 5!! If we make it to day 7 with no problems, we will spend the night at the hospital on Tuesday night and take him home on Wednesday!!!! EEEKKK!! I'm sooooo worried that he is gonna misbehave and we will have to start ALL over again! Say a prayer, say a prayer, say a prayer....I'm ready to have chunky monkey home!!! Luke is now, get this, 6lbs. & 13ozs!! That lil' man can EAT! I promise I will have some pics up tonight or tomorrow! I will keep everyone posted on how the next few days go...

To Kim (a fellow blog stalker...) - girl, you can blog stalk me anytime! I'm addicted to them!! Have a good long weekend!! love ya!

Keeping our fingers crossed...

2008-11-07T20:29:00.000-08:00

Well, Luke is on day 3 of his countdown! :) Only 5 more to go before we take him home!! I'm really not focusing on that though...actually, I have tried to put it out of my mind. It's not that I'm being a horrible mom; I just don't want to get my hopes up too much in case he decides to have a spell on the 7th day! Then we have to start the countdown all over again! He has already restarted twice, so this could be a long process. I'm just SO ready to have him here!! I've been very grumpy this week and I think a lot of it is just that I am a bundle of emotions (and hormonal). Today Luke is six weeks old and I am just so sad that he is not with me. I feel as though I am losing so much bonding time with him. Is he even going to know who I am??? Plus, I get very sad because the only time he gets held is when he is eating or if I am there. If he was home with me, I would hold him ALL the time to comfort him and to let him know he is loved. Does he even know that he is loved if the only time someone is holding him is when he eats? Plus, work has been really tough on me this week. The kids have been WILD and I have had zero patience with them!! I feel like I'm taking care of 19 kids and I can't even take care of my own little one. And it doesn't help when I'm constantly reprimanding or talking about rules and respect. I don't know...it must have just been all the candy from last weekend but I hope they come back from our long weekend ready for school! Also, I have been losing EVERYTHING lately!! I can not seem to get organized and I am constantly frazzled b/c on any given day I am frantically looking for something I have misplaced!! On a happier note, my sweet Kindergarten friends had a school baby shower for me on Monday and Luke and I got LOTS of goodies!! I've said it before...I work with the best group of ladies ever!! Tom just put together Luke's pack and play and his stroller/car seat! It's starting to at least LOOK like a little one will be living here soon!! Sorry for all the gripes and complaints....hope everyone has good weekend!

Oh, to blog everyday.....

2008-11-02T15:34:00.000-08:00

Guys, I really wish I could post messages everyday, but can I? NO. And I will tell you why. My sweet husband, Tom, seems to take great joy in "disassembling" the computer and adding a whole bunch of new junk on it to make it "that much more faster" on a weekly basis. Inevitably, something goes wrong and he has to "figure it out" (which, to his credit, he always does). This renders me unable to get my daily fix of blog time. It's like a drug. I swear. Anyway, it absolutely sends me into a tizzy and I fuss and gripe till I get my dear sweet computer back!! Anyway, here is an update on what's going on in NICU world with baby Luke. He actually started his first 8 day countdown on Friday (we didn't know this until Saturday). I was SO excited when I found this out on Saturday morning when I called to check on him. I pranced my happy little tail down there on Saturday afternoon (I even took his picture outfit with me, you know, in case they wanted to take his hospital picture) only to find out that he had a MAJOR brady after I called. :( They said his heartrate dropped so much that he turned a dusky color. Now that's scary!! The bad news is that he starts his 8 day countdown again with day 1 starting on Monday. The good news is that up to Saturday, his last brady was on Oct. 26th. This means that he really is growing out of them!! If he continues to have any this week, they will do an upper GI on his to check for reflux. The docs will put cereal in his formula if this is the case. Tomorrow will be his 36th gestational week, so he is quickly becoming a full term baby! Yay! Sooooo......the countdown is back on and I am still very hopeful of having him home BEFORE Thanksgiving! I need to feel like a mommy SOON!! On another note, I am asking for lots of prayers for Luke's girlfriend in the NICU named Paisley. She is a cutie patootie who has been his podmate since day one and she has a little cold right now. This makes us sad because we can't see her since she has to be in isolation as to not get any other babies sick. She is getting better, but we probably won't be podmates when she gets out of isolation. :( Her mom and dad are the sweetest couple!! They are "firt timers" like we are, but they are much younger than Tom and I. They are handling their situation with such grace and maturity!! They amaze me!! When I was their age, I was partying like there was no tomorrow, not giving the slightest thought about anybody but me me me! And here they are with this new little life that came way too early (but is doing great) and they have been hit with all the scariness of the NICU and the "what if's". It's amazing to see them!! They are so in love with each other and their little girl!! Morgan and Matt - YOU GUYS ROCK!! I'm missing ya'll in Pod C!! I hope everyone had a great Halloween! No pictures from last night cause my card is full and its hard actually deleting any of my pictures of Luke!! Love Ya'll!

2008-10-29T22:05:00.000-07:00

My monkey is getting so big! He is weighing in tonight at a hefty 5 lbs. 10 ozs!! He loves to eat!! They have taken him off his daily dose of caffeine. He has to be off the caffeine for at least 4 days before we can start a countdown to come home! We are hoping to start an eight day countdown on Sunday. Any brady or desat will cause him to have to start the countdown over again, so the nurses say not to be super hopeful because most babies start their countdown over and over until the docs figure out why the bradies are occuring. He will be 36 weeks gestation next Monday, so hopefully this will cause him to just naturally quit having them. I am very hopeful to have have him home before Thanksgiving!!

2008-10-29T21:59:00.000-07:00

When we saw Luke last night, we found him with his hands up in the air completely asleep!! It was TOO CUTE! He does not like for his hands to be wrapped up!!

Tagged by Meg....

2008-10-29T21:40:00.000-07:00

I got tagged!! Ok, I'm such a talker, most of you probably know all of this anyway!!! But, for those of you who don't, here are seven things you might not know about me!!

1. I once dated a guy in college who had a 14 foot python that he kept in a cage in his kitchen (in his apartment)! This should have been a clear and distinct red flag that I should not have dated him....

2. Some mean little girl called me a hippo in second grade and I got so mad and hurt that I called her a starving Ethiopian (well, she was really skinny!!). That comment has stayed with me too long! Let it go Rhonda, let it go...

3. I have "peed in the Plaza" in New York City. You know, the fancy smanchy hotel next to Central Park? They have fabulous bathrooms!

4. I can have quite a potty mouth and often have the humor of a 12 year old boy!! I'm obsessed with body functions and love to joke about them (much to the chagrin of my husband and best friend).

5. I am a picker. Not my nose, of course, but I do pick the skin around my fingers till they bleed. It's gross and ugly but I can't stop!! It's a nervous habit!! I also LOVE to peel people when they get sunburned and I was a really bad scab picker when I was a kid. If you ever need something picked or squeezed, I'm your girl! I'm weird. Don't hold it against me.

6. I got saved in 2006, but often wonder if I'm doing all I'm supposed to be doing to live up to that commitment.

7. I can't swim underwater. I have to hold my nose everytime I go under! I've tried, really really tried, but I can't do it! Luke's gonna have swimming lessons....

Ok, next I tag Courtney Snuggs......

!!!!!

2008-10-26T20:59:00.001-07:00

5 POUNDS 5.2 OUNCES!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? GOD IS SOOOOO GOOD!!

Luke is a chunker

2008-10-25T21:54:00.000-07:00

Hey all! Just an update (no pics yet...I'm too tired to load them right now)! Luke is doing AWESOME!! He now weighs...get this... 5lbs 2ozs!!! What a big boy! I am so proud that he is a good eater! I actually got to feed him a bottle last night and it was wonderful! It made me feel like a real mommy! :) Also, he is in a portable crib right now and he is off of his nasal canuallas. That means he has nothing stuck to or stuck on his sweet little face! He did have a brady this morning, but it was his first since the 22nd and it was right after he ate (he seems to have them mainly when his is eating or right after he eats). But they seem to be getting further apart, so I think its a good sign. I'm gonna head off to bed now so I can actually get to church on time tomorrow! I hope everyone had a great Saturday!

2008-10-21T18:36:00.000-07:00

MY LITTLE MONKEY IS EATING FROM A BOTTLE!! LOOK AT HIM GO!!! OH HAPPY DAY!!

2008-10-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

Don't you just love the pointy hat?? He looks like the travelocity roaming gnome!! "You'll never roam alone!!"

A Great Day!!

2008-10-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

After complaining so much in my last post (sorry for venting), I went to the hospital and when I saw my little monkey, my heart jumped for joy!! He had NO feeding tube in!! YAY!! This is HUGE! He took ALL of his feeds today by a bottle!! Woo hoo!! He just started bottle feeding on Saturday & has had 2 per day since then. But today is only Tuesday and they decided he was doing SO well, that they put him on total bottle feeds! And he seems to be tolerating it pretty well! He has a few desats (drops in oxygen) but this is to be expected since preemies aren't born with a functioning sucking reflex. But he really is doing better than I could have hoped for! I even got to watch him take a bottle today. I still can't feed him until they are confident that he has the ability to remember "suck, suck, breathe". He forgot a couple of times today but it was still so wonderful to see him drink from a real bottle! The nurse says that if he tires out, then they will put his tube back in so I don't need to be disappointed if that happens. She also said that he will most likely lose a little weight since he is actually burning a lot of calories drinking from a bottle. He used no calories when the food was fed through his tube, so it makes sense that he might lose a little. Speaking of weight, he is up to 4lbs. 12.2 ozs. Chunky monkey!! We have our eyes on that 5 pound mark!! I'm a little bit better today. Last night I was REALLY down about not feeling like a real mommy. But seeing him eat like a normal baby has really cheered me up! He even burped like 4 times!! Loud!! And I got to change his diappy today! Weird thing to get excited about, but he will be 1 month old on Friday and I'm SO ready to feel like his mommy!! If you get a chance, check out my "Little Miracles" link and see the progress that baby Kayleigh has made since her super-early arrival. She was a micropreemie and she is getting so big! Her mommy and daddy have "then" and "now" pics posted. AMAZING!! I hope everyone is doing well and as always, thanks for the continued prayers for monkey!! God continues to pour his blessings over us! love you all!

Gettin' bigger!

2008-10-19T20:40:00.001-07:00

Luke was up to 4lbs. 11ozs. tonight! We are zeroing in on that 5lb. mark! The new pics show his chubby lil' cheeks! I can't wait until he gets his nasal cannulas BACK off so we can see all of his sweet face again. He had a really good day today. He had two successful feeds off of a bottle. I was a little disappointed today, though. I was told by his night nurse and his morning nurse that I could feed him his bottle today, but when we got there this afternoon, another, "more seasoned" nurse told us that we would not be able to do it since he is so new to the bottle. She told our nurse (who was getting the bottle ready for us) that we couldn't do it. :( Needless to say, I was not happy. I mean, you put the bottle in his mouth, he eats, I burp him, he eats again, I burp him....I got it! Done it before. With lots of babies. I promise I know how!! Nothing to it...Anyway, just a bit a miffed at that. I mean, he IS my child, right?? I know, I know, the rules are there for a reason, but come on!!! I just feel like I am missing EVERYTHING!! His first bath, his first diappy change, his first bottle...It just kinda sucks. But, I do have lots to be grateful for! I'm just ready to really feel like a mommy because I don't right now! Like tonight, he has a really sweet nurse. He had a dirty diaper and after I had to put him back in the isolette (even though his temp. was holding steady...another little irratant is being told we have to "put him back"...) and she didn't even ASK if I wanted to change him. Now I know all the other mommies are going to tell me that there will be PLENTY of diapers for me to change, but I have only changed Luke 3 times. That's it. In three weeks and 2 days, I have only changed his diaper 3 times. I guess I'm just going to have to say, "I've got...I can change him!!". It is just not natural to have to ask!! I've been allowed to change his clothes once. One time. I don't know...Maybe the nurses are just so busy and have so much on their plate, they don't think to ask if I want to do it! BUT I DO!! It's just that I feel like if they don't ask me if I want to, then I'm not allowed. I'm really not feeling like much of a mommy here lately!! It's like he's "on loan" to us for a couple of hours a day. Can you tell it's really starting to get to me? I did not mean for this to be a gripe fest and the NICU really is a WONDERFUL place and the BEST place for him for now. I'm just soooo ready for him to really be mine!! Well, I'm off to bed so I can at least dream of my little monkey! I hope everyone had a great weekend!! I will report back soon! Oh, real quick...At church today, my two friends (and new mommies themselves) Jamie and Ashley, were holding their little ones, Logan and Will and they just looked like such BIG boys!!! They are absolutely georgeous and I can't wait for Luke to join them! He has LOTS of growing to catch up with them!!

2008-10-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

2008-10-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

You take the good, you take the bad...

2008-10-18T10:58:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Lots to update you on! First the bad (well, not really bad....). The docs decided to put Luke's nasal cannulas back on. There is not any oxygen pumping in them, just a flow of air. This is supposed to help with his brady's. He was having quite a few of them and they just don't want to wear him out so the "bump" of air will help him. Also, yesterday he tee-tee'd on his bed and when the nurses discovered it, his body temperature had gone down. He was having a difficult time putlling it back up so they moved him back to his isolette. :( So...he is out of his open crib and back in the little warmer. Now, for the good news! Luke now weighs 4lbs. and 10ozs!!!!!! WOW!! He gained 4 ounces in 1 1/2 days!!! He is getting BIG!! YAY!!! Also, more good news from this morning!!! HE DRANK HIS FIRST BOTTLE THIS MORNING!! What a big boy!! The nurse said he did wonderful with it!! They will start out only giving him one bottle a day and the rest tube feedings but they will slowly increase his bottle feeds depending on how he tolerates it!! It takes a lot of calories to suck a bottle so they will introduce it slowly. Also, she reported no brady's last night (the flow of air from his nose thingies are really working!). God loves us!! He really is pouring the blessings on little man and us! We are painting his nursery today and will hopefully get in his new carpet sometime next weekend. I am ready to get this nursery DONE!!! We still have a lot to do!!I will snap some pics tonight and get them posted. I have been so busy with school and traveling to the hospital that I have been too tired to write at night, but am getting used to all the craziness that is my life right now! I hope everyone has a good weekend! Love you all, and again, THANK YOU ALL FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR US!! WE LOVE YOU!!

Driving me crazy...

2008-10-14T21:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here are the pics I tried to post Monday night! I don't know what is going on, but just when I figured out (or so I thought) how to use Picasa3 (my photo service), it goes and gets screwy on me! I am seeing the pictures on my computer, but at school I can't see them!! Are you guys being able to see them?? Tonight was a good visit! Luke is doing just wonderful!! His nurse told me she wanted to put him in her pocket and take him home with her because he is just so cute!! Well, duh...I mean, he has ME for a mom right?? (hee hee) Anyway, he is holding his own temperature and doing great! Also, I have to tell you how good God is and how the body of Christ really is providing for us. Today, I received a letter from my sister and she sent us $100 for gas and food!! Then, at the hospital, there was an anonymous card sent to me and Tom with $94 in it! It wasn't signed or anything! Can you believe that?? Also, a sweet friend from Sunday School gave me $20 to put towards gas and my mother in law's neighbor gave us a $20 gift card to Walmart!! This is ALL in addition to the $350 my sweet school friends gave when I was in the hospital AND the extra $60 they gave in gas coupons AND the $50 gift card for Cracker Barrel!! To top it all off, another dear sweet friend of mine stuck $50 in a card!!!! I'm not even gonna tell you about all the gifts... Guys, I just can't tell you the number of blessing after blessing we have received during this time! It is unimaginable!! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS GIVEN THEIR MONEY, FOOD, TIME, PHONE CALLS, EMAILS, AND PRAYERS TO US DURING THIS TIME!!! YOU WILL ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS HAVE A PLACE IN MY HEART AND IN BABY LUKE'S!! GOD AND YOUR LOVE HAs GOTTEN US THROUGH!! With that said, NO MORE MONEY!! I swear...we are fine...I promise!! I love you all!! You all ROCK!

2008-10-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

2008-10-14T21:20:00.000-07:00

Out of the isolette!

2008-10-13T20:47:00.000-07:00

Well, the docs moved Luke out of his isolette today! This is a step up! YAY! He is now in a "crib" (really just a plastic open bed, not really a crib). He is expected to be able to hold his own body temperature in this bed. So far he is doing pretty well, but as you can see from the pictures, he is definitely layered!! Tonight he had two outfits on, he was swaddled, he had two thick folded blankets on him and his small little blankie that Jay-Jay (Jennifer Cox) bought for him!! LOTS of layers!! This is gonna help keep him warm until he realizes "hey, I have to do this on my own!!". Also tonight, he reached 4.28 lbs. We are thrilled he is putting on weight!! His little face is rounding out and he is losing some of that "saggy baggy" look. He is beautiful!! I am also seeing some sweet dimples when he smiles from dreaming (or gas...). I love them and could just eat him up!! I started back to work today. It was so good to see my kiddos! It's only been three weeks, but I swear they have grown so much. I got lots of hugs and even a few surprise gifts!! I walked a lot today and am a little sore & tired so I think tomorrow I will sit down a whole lot more!! My friends were awesome and they are even taking my kids to watch them at the end of the afternoon so I can leave before the buses to go home and take a shower before I go to the hospital. I could not work with a better group of women!! They are the BEST!! A BIG thank you to Meg, Maribeth, Casey, Cheryl, Mandy, Michelle, Angela, and Cayla (all of the kindergarten teachers at OES)....and of course to my bosses, Christa and Holli. God has blessed me with the best job and best place to work!! Well, I am calling it a night!! I'm very very sleepy and getting up early is not something I have had to do for the past few weeks....

2008-10-13T20:44:00.000-07:00

Here is daddy doing Kangaroo Care and holding Luke's feeding thingy at the same time! Check out all blankets on him tonight!

2008-10-13T20:41:00.000-07:00

He is getting to be such a big boy!! His face is really filling out!! YAY!!

4 LBS. and growing...

2008-10-11T20:09:00.000-07:00

Monkey hit the 4lb. mark tonight! YAY!! He is officially 4lbs. & .06 ozs! The high fat/high calorie formula they have him on is seriously doing the trick! Also, they removed his nasal cannulas (the nose tubies that send air in) AND they took his feeding tube out of his mouth (where the tape kept getting yucky) and put it in his nose. Soooo....we can actually see his cute face now! Where are the pictures, you ask? Well, I didn't know that all of this had happened this afternoon (we were just there at 12:00). When we left, he looked the same as he had for the past few days. And when I got there tonight I got the nice surprise of seeing his little face. I go to my purse to get the camera, and realize that I had left it at home :(!! Of all nights to do that....pics will come tomorrow! He really is changing so much! Tomorrow I go to my friend Christy's baby shower! Her sweet Lanie and Monkey actually have the same due date!! It's funny to think that Lanie looks alot like Luke right now, only she is still where she is supposed to be!! In her mommy's belly!!

I am God's Pumpkin...

2008-10-10T22:08:00.000-07:00

While doing my nightly blog search, I came across this on kimbosmithcorner.blogspot.com. I really like it!

I am God's Pumpkin!

A woman was asked by a coworker, 'What is it like to be a Christian? 'The coworker replied, 'It is like being a pumpkin.' God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, and greed. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see.' This was passed on to me by another pumpkin. Now it's your turn to pass it to other pumpkins in your patch.

2008-10-10T21:47:00.000-07:00

Monkey is two weeks old today!! Time is flying! Also, he is up to 3.15lbs. as of tonight! Praise God...He is sooooo good to us!

2008-10-10T21:44:00.000-07:00

More pics! :)

2008-10-10T21:43:00.000-07:00

Finally! Pictures of our Kangaroo Care!! YAY!! Also, just a few random pics!

Getting Bigger!!

2008-10-10T14:01:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Luke has officially passed his birth weight!! He is now 3lbs. 14.8ozs! YAY!! We are closing in on that 4lb. mark! He is such a big boy! Sorry for no pictures yet, but my hubby chose to add yet another hard drive to our computer and he has not loaded my photo software yet. He is ALWAYS doing something to this stinkin' thing! For those that do not know, he is a "techy" and loves to mess with our system! I will get them up ASAP! Went for a visit this AM and he was eating and sleeping! Preemies that have to be tube fed are multi-taskers...they can get fed, suck on a binky, and sleep all at the same time! I really think this high-calorie formula that he is on will help him gain weight. The nurses are keeping an eye out for reflux though. I know this is really common with full-term babies, so I am not sweating it too bad! He is still having 1-2 bradys a day, but that is to be expected! I actually went and registered today for my baby shower!! Fun!! I think it is gonna be around the 8th of November...not too sure! It's definitely going to be strange to not be pregnant at your own baby shower, but hopefully I can lose some weight and at least look decent for the occasion! Well, I'll get those pics up soon! Love you all! Hope you are having a good Friday!

Oh Happy Day...or Night...or whatever!!

2008-10-09T21:52:00.000-07:00

Ok, tonight rocked! Luke is doing SO good! It just makes me incredibly happy to see his sweet face and touch his soft body! I did not get a chance to see him this afternoon because the hubby and I had an appt. to get life insurance. I know, probably should have already done that by this time in our lives, but now everything's changed! I mean, we have a little person to think of! So, anyway, what should have taken 45 minutes turned into 3 HOURS because the guy was REALLY chatty! So, Tom and I visited Monkey tonight. And.....I got to do Kangaroo Care with him!! What in the heck is that, you ask?? Well, it is where you get a mostly naked baby (with only a diaper on) and open your shirt and lay his/her body directly onto your body. Like skin-to-skin contact. Luke's belly was on my belly and his head was snuggled in between my chest (you know, kinda in between "the girls"). He had a blanket over him and we just chilled together like that for over 40 minutes!! It was the longest I have ever held him!!! Kangaroo Care originated in Columbia out of neccessity. There are not many NICU's there and the infant mortality rate was at an all time high in the 1970's. So, a doctor recommeded that mothers of preemie babies have continuous skin to skin contact with there babies (like 24 hours a day). So, the moms wrapped up there babes in cloth and had them attached to their chests. Kinda like a kangaroo with her pouch. There are many benefits they have found from this kind of care. Research has shown that it helps preterm babies stabalize their heartbeat, temperature, and breathing. Further, researchers have found that preterm infants who experience kangaroo care have longer periods of sleep, gain more weight, decrease their crying, have longer periods of alertness, and earlier hospital discharge. They say that up to 2 hours a day is recommended for these benefits. So, consider yourself offically schooled on "kangaroo care". Bring it up at cocktail parties and your friends will think you are oh so smart (you know, keeping up with research and all!). Seriously, if you know someone who has had a preemie, tell them to google it and check it out! It definitely created more bonding between me and Monkey tonight and I LOVED it! Sorry for the long post!! Oh, I have a picture of our kangaroo care time, but my camera is in my car and I am too lazy and tired to go get it! I will post tomorrow! Love you all!

One step forward and two, maybe one, back!

2008-10-07T20:42:00.000-07:00

Hey friends! Just got back from the NICU and here is a little update...Luke had NO brain bleeds on his ultrasound!!! PRAISE GOD!!! This was definitely an answered prayer! His doctor even told me today that he is "doing remarkably well for a little white boy!". Now for those that don't know, white boys do not fair as well as others when they are preemies. The strongest babies are black girls. In the NICU, they call white boy babies "wimpy white males"! I hope Luke proves them wrong!! On a more frusterating note, they might have to put his phototherapy lights on him again. His bilirubin count (the way your body breaks down red blood cells) is up again. He might need a transfusion in the next few weeks. The nurse assured me that we are not even thinking about that right now, but of course, it's in the back of my mind. Tom and Luke have the same blood type, so he could be his donor if he is CIV negative. The lab will have to test Tom's blood for this certain type of infection. Also, he has had 4 brady's today. :( Two of them happened when I was there and actually he had one when I was holding and rocking him. Jane, his nurse, said that he might have had one because he was in such a deep sleep while being rocked. Of course, they say this is common. They tried him on a new formula tonight that had more fat and calories, but he spit it up, so they put him back on his hypoallergenic formula. I have officially "thrown in the towel" regarding breastfeeding. It's just not happenin'! I fought a good fight, but mature milk just isn't there! Stress and having Luke too early and not actually being able to put him on my breast are all factors of why there is no mature milk coming down. The pump just ain't like a real baby so after 11 days of frustration, I decided to put it down. There is a slight possibility that when he comes home it might stimulate my milk and maybe I can try again, but who knows? As someone who REALLY wanted to do this, it's a big letdown and quite sad for me. But, I can be grateful for Luke doing so well! If formula helps make him big and strong, we will go for it completely!! Well, better go for now! I actually get a night with total sleep and no getting up every three hours to pump! I'm kinda looking forward to that! Love you all! Here is a sweet poem for you to enjoy:

Welcome to the world
I'ts going to be quite a show.
First, there is something important
I want you to always know:
You are my shining moon; you are my glistening sun.
You are my inner peace; you are my abundant fun.
You are my roaming land; you are my wavy sea,
You are, and always will be, everything to me.
~Crystal Dawn Perry

2008-10-07T20:40:00.000-07:00

Here is Monkey in some "big boy" clothes! Well, big by our standards! The last one cracks me up! How can he sleep with his arms straight down??? Also, he looks a lot like the "Saggy Baggy Elephant" from the classic Golden Book series! I gotta get that book in honor of him! I'm ready for this boy to gain some weight!!!

Trust

2008-10-06T21:54:00.000-07:00

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV

Sometimes I have to remember that God is in control of my life and my son's life. Luke is only "on loan" to me and God loves him even more than I do! Please pray tonight for no brain bleeds. Monkey will be having an ultrasound tonight or in the morning to check for these common occurances in preemies! Love you all!

An Uneventful Monday

2008-10-06T16:38:00.000-07:00

Hello all! There is not a lot to report today. Tom's mother and I went to visit Monkey at the 10:30 visit and he was so precious! He was wearing the sweetest little outfit that Meg Lowry bought him and I got to hold him for about 15 minutes. They have his isolette covered with cloth all around except for the front so they can keep as much noise and light out while he grows. Speaking of growing, Luke is up to 3lb. 11oz! YAY! This is only 2 ozs. away from his birth weight! It seems as if the formula is working!! I also visited Lactation and explained to them the difficulties I am having with my milk not coming in. They were very sweet and understanding and told me to give it about 4 more days. They had a few suggestions like bumping the time to 15 minutes per pumping and increasing suction (can we say ouch??). The nice lady told me that if I don't see results by the end of the week then I can pretty much throw in the towel. She said that a lot of preemie moms' bodies just aren't ready for their milk to come in and that the hormones that a baby on the breast generates just aren't there when you have a pump. Sooooo.....I'm gonna keep trying but to be honest, I just don't think it's going to happen! Lactation said for me to not beat myself up about it and that maybe when he comes home it will stimulate my body to start producing. I don't know...I definitely need something to happen or not because I go back to work on Monday and if it's not going to happen, I'm certainly not gonna drag that pump in my classroom and do it throughout the day for nothing! Yeah, I'm going back to work on Monday...Should be interesting....I think I will be OK! Hopefully the days will fly by and I will get to visit Monkey at night. Then, before I know it, he will be home!! I hope all is well with everyone! Here is a sweet quote that I found in a little book I got in hospital...

"There is no other closeness in human life like the closeness between a mother and her baby: chronologically, physically, and spiritually; They are just a few heartbeats away from being the same person." ~Susan Cheever

2008-10-05T12:52:00.000-07:00

NO MORE NAKED BABY!!!!!

Oh, and his eyes will go uncrossed when he gets older....they have assured me of that! Right now it is kinda cute because he looks like he has had to much to drink!!! Ha ha! But seriously, we hope they go uncrossed.....

2008-10-05T12:51:00.000-07:00

He is just SOOOO cute!!

Monkey is wearing clothes!

2008-10-05T12:38:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Sorry I did not get a chance to post pics yesterday. I spent ALL day in the bed and it was GREAT! Tom did a good job of taking care of me! I was having some "issues" with pain and a percocet knocked me out! We did get to see monkey last night and he is still doing well in his isolette. He did have 3 bradys last night :( but the nurses assure me that this is normal for his gestational age and that he will probably have them until his is 35 - 37 weeks gestation. A brady is where he forgets to breathe and his heartrate and O2 levels drop. He pulled himself back up twice, but the nurse had to stimulate him once to get him to bring his levels up. On a happier note, Luke finally gets to wear clothes!! He is so cute! All of the preemie clothes just swallow him up, but at least to me he is actually starting to look like a "real" baby and not just a little helpless naked old man!! I could just eat him up!!! He gained about an ounce yesterday and they changed his formula to a hypoallergenic formuala. This was because he was having some spit up issues on the plain formula. Just like full term babies, we have to try a couple to figure out what will sit well with his stomach. As I said in my last post, they are not giving him my breast milk becaue of medication I'm on and that is very discouraging! It has also been very discouraging because he is now nine days old and I am STILL only pumping half an ounce total!! I am pumping every 3 hours and am hoping for a HUGE supply of milk so I can freeze it for when he comes home, but a 1/2 an ounce is not even worth freezing! I had a little breakdown this morning...definitely the baby blues! I just feel very helpless and feel that there is nothing that I have done right for little Luke! He should still be inside my belly and now I can't even get the milk to come in for him when he comes home!! But, I have to get off my pity party and be thankful that God has given me a blessing and that he is doing much better than we had all hoped for! I'm posting some pictures of him in his first little outfit! He is such a cutie pie!! Thanks for all the continuing prayers and phone calls! I love you all!

Luke is one week old today!

2008-10-03T12:52:00.000-07:00

Hello all! My sweet little monkey is one week old today! I can't believe it has already been a week since he came into our lives...Time is really flying! At today's afternoon visit, we saw that Luke got moved into an isolette! Yay! This is actually a step up for him! He also had his IV removed so now is just the time for him to grow in his little "cocoon". He was up to 29cc's of food, but he had a few spit ups so the set him back down to 25 cc's. Also, I found out that he can't have anymore of my breast milk until he is close to full term. Apparently, because I 'ride the happy train' - the "lexapro" train, he can't take my milk until much later. The nurses say that this is ok - I can just pump and freeze until he can take milk that has medication in it. I was kind of sad, but I'm just gonna keep doing what I can do!! Hopefully he will have lots of stored up milk when he gets home! His grandma got to visit today and she was so excited! He is absolutely the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and I am so grateful to our Lord and Savior for giving me the most wonderful little boy I have ever seen! Until next time....keep monkey in your prayers! I will post some pics later!

OH NO!

2008-10-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the big ol' tee-tee shot! I did not realize I put that on there! Tom would kill me if he knew Luke's "goods" were on show for everyone!! I don't know how to delete it or I would!! I am already such a bad mommy!!!!!!!

2008-10-01T21:41:00.000-07:00

2008-10-01T21:40:00.000-07:00

"A Worm In Hot Ash...."

2008-10-01T21:24:00.000-07:00

Hello friends! I'm flying high even though I am totally exhausted! We just got back from the NICU and Luke is doing very well. He is up to 15 cc's of food (both my milk and a preemie formula). This is great! They are pushing his food quite quickly because he has very small veins even for a preemie. The docs are hoping a weight gain will "fatten" up his veins. He has had his IV in both of his feet, both hands, his head...It i really hard to know that he is being stuck all the time. On a lighter note, when I came to visit him this morning, his nurse told me "Girl, you've got a wild one on your hands!!". Another nurse had already told me he was fiesty! Apparently, he is already trying to roll himself around and he grabs ahold of his little tubes and PULLS!! The nurse told me today that it is like watching a "worm in hot ash!". It just cracks me up!! I am so glad he is full of fight and such a little character! So much for Luke having his daddy's laid back personality....I think he is gonna be like his mommy! For those who know me personally, I tend to get hyped up alot! And my family also knows that I have been known on a rare occasion to have the slightest bit of a temper....hee hee! Anyway, Luke's Aunt May-May (Maribeth) and Aunt JJ (Jennifer Cox) came by to see him tonight and they brought PRIZES! Jennifer brought a sweet little blankie with a horse on it and Maribeth brought ANOTHER big gift from many of the wonderful women I work with at Odenville Elementary! Several people went in and got us a Cracker Barrel gift card (yum) and $60 worth of gas cards! I am not lying or exaggerating when I say I work with angels sent from heaven! They are the best and have done SOOOO much for me, Tom, and Luke. I have just a couple of pics from tonight! Oh, I almost forgot! I got to change his diaper tonight! It is so weird changing a preemie diaper versus a full term baby! He is so tiny I thought I would break him!! But, thankfully, everything went according to plan! He was so mad!! He hates having his diappy changed!!! I love it though and can't wait to change many more!!! One of these days I am going to figure out how to post pics within this blog, but until then I will post them seperately!! Continue to pray for our little worm!!! God is GOOD all the TIME!!

2008-09-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

2008-09-30T21:46:00.000-07:00

Mr. Magoo, that's who!!

2008-09-30T21:38:00.000-07:00

Well, Luke is doing fantastic tonight! He is up to 9cc of food and that makes me very happy! He is really getting stronger in his grip! He makes little white knuckles when he grabs my finger...it's so cute! His biliruben count (the stuff that makes him jaundice) dropped just a tiny bit, but at least it is not going up. I read him another story tonight (Goodnight Moon) and I swear he just dropped off to sleep holding my finger. It really felt like my heart could explode with love for him! The nurse did let me take off his jaundice shades so I could see his cute little face more. His little eyes kept going cross because he has no control of those muscles yet. It was quite amuzing! I am posting some pictures from tonights' visit! Keep praying hard for God to help his body grow strong, strong, strong!!

Oh, the whole Mr. Magoo title is because his daddy thinks he looks like Mr. Magoo! I think he looks like a sweet old man!

2008-09-30T09:00:00.000-07:00

2008-09-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

2008-09-30T08:57:00.000-07:00

Luke is here!!!!

2008-09-30T08:33:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone! I have not been keeping up with the blog like I wanted to because my hospital room did not have good wifi. Also, I've been a little busy birthing a baby!! On Friday, September 26th at 8:48 pm the most precious little man entered our lives (almost 10 weeks early!!). Luke Thomas Smith weighed in at a whopping 3lb. 13oz. and was 16 1/2 inches long! That may sound tiny but we were so glad that he was as big as he was!! In the preemie world, that's pretty big! He has all his parts and a TON of hair! The doctor said that if he had stayed full term we would have had to braid it! Don't listen to the old wive's tales....I had hardly no heartburn during my pregnancy!! He is now in the NICU and we honestly don't know how long he will stay. All in all, he is doing very well! The nurses have told us that it is a rollercoaster ride with preemies. One day they are doing awesome and the next day they take a nose dive. So far, Luke is doing fantastic! We have had a few setbacks, but they are all to be expected. The nurses say that he is a fiesty little guy! He has lost a little weight and has severe jaundice right now. They have these high powered lights on him so he looks like he is in a tanning bed! He also is have a few of these moments that the nureses call "bradys". Basically, he has a type of apnea that causes him to stop breathing and his heartrate drops. This, of course, freaks me out a little, but they say this is very common for any baby born before 35 weeks because their little nervous systems are not developed yet. They stimulate him a little and if he has several of them, they give him a jolt of caffeine!! But...Praise be to God ~ he has not had to be put on a ventilator at all! He is doing pretty good breathing on his own. They help him out with a little bit of oxygen in his nose but that is all! This is GOOD news! Also, they have started feeding him a little. He gets less than a teaspoon every three hours through a little tube that goes in his mouth and to his belly. He is doing great with digesting and having no residual food in his tummy! Luke is just the most beautiful little person I have ever seen! He is a tough little cookie and I hope and pray he continues to be a fighter! I hated leaving him yesterday but am totally confident in the care he is giving. I am at peace knowing that his every need is taken care of and that he is hooked up to so many monitors that nothing will slip by his nurses. He is exactly where he needs to be right now, so I can't be unhappy!! God has been so unbelieveably good to us and it amazes me how he is continuing to bless us and our little spider monkey every day! I also have to tell everyone that the nurses in labor and delivery and the NICU at St. Vincent's have been AMAZING! They all will have HUGE crowns when they get to heaven! They have catered to my every need and Luke's every need and I will be eternally grateful for every sweet woman that I have met there during the last 13 days! I will be posting some pictures (the best I know how) and will keep everyone updated on sweet Baby Luke! Keep him (and all the NICU babies) in your prayers!

Getting used to my new life!

2008-09-22T12:47:00.000-07:00

Bedrest. Till he comes. Which could be tomorrow or six weeks from now. Wow. How did THIS happen?? Most of you guys already know that my water broke last Thursday (while I was driving down I-20 at 80 mph on my way to a scheduled doctors' appt!). Needless to say, I freaked out! This was no leak...it was like a tsunami!! Did I mention that I freaked?? I called my dr. and they met me with a wheelchair, sent me straight to sonogram and informed me that I would be heading straight to the hospital. Um, what? No no no! This has been a Picture Perfect pregnancy! I have had NO problems and now I am told I will be in the hospital until Luke comes?? Also, you guys know that I am a kindergarten teacher and I had absolutely NOTHING planned out for my sub!! I thought I had two months!! Oh dear! I guess God had other plans for me...But things so far could not be better. I am not dilated or having contractions (which should buy me some time). Also, I tested negative for Group B strep so they took me off antibiotics. I did get two steroid shots just in case I start dilating, but so far nothing! From Thursday to about 6 hours ago, I was not allowed to let my feet touch the floor, but this morning the doc gave me bathroom privileges! O happy day! I have never been in the hospital before and using a bedpan has to be one of the most humiliating things in life! I even got to take a shower (sitting down of course) today! I feel like a new woman! They have taken him off 24 hour monitoring b/c everything looks good, so now we just monitor him every 4 hours for 30-45 minutes. They have even taken me off fluid but they made me promise I would drink LOTS of water. Currently they tell me Luke only has about 3 cm. of fluid inside (which is very low) but they say that it is OK because he is making new fluid all the time and my body is making fluid which is washing over him constantly. The nurses have told me that he won't be a "juicy" baby. He might look like a little dried raisin! He will definitely have to go to the NICU but for how long, we don't know! And, odds are, I will have a c-section. That is OK by me!! I just want him to be healthy and strong!! I does not matter to me how he gets here! I just want him to wait a little while longer and cook some more! I believe in the power of prayer so if anyone is reading this, please take a minute to pray for my little spider monkey, Luke Thomas Smith. Pray that he will stay in his mommy's tummy for at least 4-5 weeks! God has a plan for all of us and I just pray that the plan will be revealed soon! Thanks so much to everyone at OES, Crosspoint, my friends, family, my friend's families, and anyone else who has taken a minute to call and check on us, send us flowers and goodies, and for all the monetary help. I have been blessed with the most amazing group of people who love me and the sheer volume of kindness and concern for me, Luke and Tom has been overwhelming! I love you all and will find some way some day to repay you! I love you all and will keep you posted with anything I find out! Love, Rhonda

2008-09-14T19:46:00.000-07:00

Me and my sweet nephew, Ryan! He is 13 and sooo excited about Luke coming! He has never really been around babies, so he is really looking forward to holding/feeding/changing diapers (well, we will see about the diapers...).

2008-09-14T19:44:00.000-07:00

No longer able to see my feet! This is what I see (or don't see) when I look down!!