Sunday, October 19, 2008

Gettin' bigger!

Luke was up to 4lbs. 11ozs. tonight! We are zeroing in on that 5lb. mark! The new pics show his chubby lil' cheeks! I can't wait until he gets his nasal cannulas BACK off so we can see all of his sweet face again. He had a really good day today. He had two successful feeds off of a bottle. I was a little disappointed today, though. I was told by his night nurse and his morning nurse that I could feed him his bottle today, but when we got there this afternoon, another, "more seasoned" nurse told us that we would not be able to do it since he is so new to the bottle. She told our nurse (who was getting the bottle ready for us) that we couldn't do it. :( Needless to say, I was not happy. I mean, you put the bottle in his mouth, he eats, I burp him, he eats again, I burp him....I got it! Done it before. With lots of babies. I promise I know how!! Nothing to it...Anyway, just a bit a miffed at that. I mean, he IS my child, right?? I know, I know, the rules are there for a reason, but come on!!! I just feel like I am missing EVERYTHING!! His first bath, his first diappy change, his first bottle...It just kinda sucks. But, I do have lots to be grateful for! I'm just ready to really feel like a mommy because I don't right now! Like tonight, he has a really sweet nurse. He had a dirty diaper and after I had to put him back in the isolette (even though his temp. was holding steady...another little irratant is being told we have to "put him back"...) and she didn't even ASK if I wanted to change him. Now I know all the other mommies are going to tell me that there will be PLENTY of diapers for me to change, but I have only changed Luke 3 times. That's it. In three weeks and 2 days, I have only changed his diaper 3 times. I guess I'm just going to have to say, "I've got...I can change him!!". It is just not natural to have to ask!! I've been allowed to change his clothes once. One time. I don't know...Maybe the nurses are just so busy and have so much on their plate, they don't think to ask if I want to do it! BUT I DO!! It's just that I feel like if they don't ask me if I want to, then I'm not allowed. I'm really not feeling like much of a mommy here lately!! It's like he's "on loan" to us for a couple of hours a day. Can you tell it's really starting to get to me? I did not mean for this to be a gripe fest and the NICU really is a WONDERFUL place and the BEST place for him for now. I'm just soooo ready for him to really be mine!! Well, I'm off to bed so I can at least dream of my little monkey! I hope everyone had a great weekend!! I will report back soon! Oh, real quick...At church today, my two friends (and new mommies themselves) Jamie and Ashley, were holding their little ones, Logan and Will and they just looked like such BIG boys!!! They are absolutely georgeous and I can't wait for Luke to join them! He has LOTS of growing to catch up with them!!


Brandy said...

Hold strong! You are allowed to gripe whenever you want! I am glad the he is getting bigger and taking those strides forward. That is fantastic news. Love the new photos. Can't wait to see the ones of the nursery. Take care of yourself. :)

Brandy and Jonathan Crumly said...

Maddie was in the NICU for about a week when she was born and I remember having those same feelings. She had a really great night nurse and I just pretty much opened up to her about how I was feeling and she let stay a little longer and give her the 9:30 bottle -- don't be afraid to ask! He's going to be home before you know and your going to never put him down:)