Friday, November 21, 2008

Feeling Convicted

So tonight, I am doing a little "blog-stalking" (my favorite thing to do, hands down!) when I happened upon a blog from a lady that talked about a "media vacation". She discussed how she has been so surrounded by tv, internet, email, texting, etc. that she was losing sight of what was truly important. I am guilty of spending no less than 1 - 2 hours a day blogging and reading blogs and yet I have not opened my bible in DAYS!! I've read the paper, watched the news, read blogs, read magazines...but no bible. What's up with that? I guess I just expect that God is always gonna be there for me no matter how I treat him. I can ignore him and sometimes even curse him, but boy, when I need him, he BETTER be there for me. Well, this is twisted. I am consuming too much time in earthly things and not enough in eternal things. I want to be perceived as such a great Christian, but only I know that I am so lukewarm that it is pathetic. I tell people that I will pray for them, and guess what? I don't. I tell myself that I am definitely gonna pray before every meal, and guess what? I don't. I say that I will read my bible everyday, but guess what? I don't. I feel a little hollow right now and I know that it is because I am not being filled with the spirit because I am pushing it away. I am not being faithful to God who has continually poured out His blessings to me. I am a liar. I talk a good game and yet I am not doing what I KNOW is expected of me from God. Time and time again I promise Him and myself that I will "be better this time". Luke is here and perfect and what do I do to proclaim my gratefullness? Nothing. I feel like such a fake. A big ol' faker. In an effort to reclaim what I am losing, I am going to take a break from this computer for a couple of days and get back into my bible. It is my sincere hope that God hasn't given up on me and my lack of discipline. I'm not going to be gone forever - just a couple of days. I promise to return with updates on Monkey - he should be home tomorrow. However, for the next few days, I have to reconnect with a relationship that I have let go by the wayside. Everyone have a great weekend and I will be back on next week!! Love you@

1 comment:

Amy E. said...

Hi Rhonda,
Thanks so much for your comment on my blog! It's nice to 'meet' a fellow Napoleon fan. My husband and I quote that movie all the time!!
Just read your blog...congratulations on your new little one!! Hope he's doing okay!