Friday, November 7, 2008

Keeping our fingers crossed...

Well, Luke is on day 3 of his countdown! :) Only 5 more to go before we take him home!! I'm really not focusing on that though...actually, I have tried to put it out of my mind. It's not that I'm being a horrible mom; I just don't want to get my hopes up too much in case he decides to have a spell on the 7th day! Then we have to start the countdown all over again! He has already restarted twice, so this could be a long process. I'm just SO ready to have him here!! I've been very grumpy this week and I think a lot of it is just that I am a bundle of emotions (and hormonal). Today Luke is six weeks old and I am just so sad that he is not with me. I feel as though I am losing so much bonding time with him. Is he even going to know who I am??? Plus, I get very sad because the only time he gets held is when he is eating or if I am there. If he was home with me, I would hold him ALL the time to comfort him and to let him know he is loved. Does he even know that he is loved if the only time someone is holding him is when he eats? Plus, work has been really tough on me this week. The kids have been WILD and I have had zero patience with them!! I feel like I'm taking care of 19 kids and I can't even take care of my own little one. And it doesn't help when I'm constantly reprimanding or talking about rules and respect. I don't must have just been all the candy from last weekend but I hope they come back from our long weekend ready for school! Also, I have been losing EVERYTHING lately!! I can not seem to get organized and I am constantly frazzled b/c on any given day I am frantically looking for something I have misplaced!! On a happier note, my sweet Kindergarten friends had a school baby shower for me on Monday and Luke and I got LOTS of goodies!! I've said it before...I work with the best group of ladies ever!! Tom just put together Luke's pack and play and his stroller/car seat! It's starting to at least LOOK like a little one will be living here soon!! Sorry for all the gripes and complaints....hope everyone has good weekend!


Meg said...

You have every reason to complain! It won't be long now though! And you can hold him every minute & spoil him rotten & don't worry....he'll know who mommy is!! They just know! Its something Jesus blesses us with! David is the biggest momma boy in my room & he didn't meet her until he was 2 1/2. I think 6-9 weeks will be a much better bonding experience! You'll be on here blogging about no sleep, spitting up, all the laundry, & expensive formula before you know it! I can't wait!

Kim said...


I am blog stalking. I just wanted to check and see how Luke's countdown was going. Of course Luke knows who you are. He feels it everytime you hold him. It's quality not quantity, and I'm sure you give him enough love to satisfy him until your next visit. I know it has been really hard on ya'll. We are praying for you guys!
Kim Brasher

Collier Chronicles said...

I went through these same emotions! I promise you, he knows who his mommy is! He has known you for the whole length of time he was in your belly. He will not forget that.
I promise you that one day SOON you will be able to hold that sweet bundle of joy in your hands at home in his room!
Pretty soon you will be wondering how you ever functioned without him there.
As for the keys and misplacing of things, we suffer from what is often called Babyitus. The medical world does not recognize but other mothers do. Especially in new mothers such as ourselves.
They say that we will never get back that part of the brain our children took while in the womb. However, I would be dumb for the rest of my days just to have Eazy E-this is what I call Ethan.

There will be better days ahead, I promise you that. Rely on the Lord. When you are in your darkest moment, turn it all over to him. He carried that cross so he could carry all of our burdens. Hand them to him and he will take them off of your shoulders.

Jaime said...

I love you girl!!!! Don't feel bad for feeling bad. I am still reeling from pregnancy hormones. ;) I have no doubt Luke already knows who his mommy is, but you will get lots of time to remind him when he comes home. I agree with Meg, soon you'll be blogging about the no sleep, ect. I'm glad we saw you guys today before we left church. I miss you!